2. Emergency calls first. Then media calls. (9-1-1 before 9News.)
3. Pick the right spokesperson. In 99 percent of cases, this should not be a six year old. They have an unfortunate tendency to tell the truth.
4. Appearances matter. When your parenting skills are under scrutiny, put your puking son to bed.not on the Today Show.
5. Practice, practice, practice. The "I'm Sorry I Yelled at Him" moment must appear heartfelt. Reality TV only works when it looks real.
6. Know any vulnerability that might make you appear batshit crazy (i.e. Wife Swap appearances, You Tube videos, 20-foot flying saucer balloon "crafts".)