John Peterson

5 Funniest Jokes You Haven’t Heard about

5 Funniest Jokes You Haven’t Heard about

Are you down or depressed? Need a dose of fun and laughter?

Here is a compilation of some of the funniest jokes that have brought a smile on millions of people world over.

Joke #1

A young blonde doubts her husband, and thinks he's having an affair with another female. To counter him, she goes to the shop and buys a gun. When she returns home, she sees her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. In a fit of anger, she holds the gun to her own head. The husband gets hysterical, gets out of bed and pleads with her not to shoot herself. The wife screams back at him, and says "Shut're next!"

Joke #2

I know ten facts about you.

Fact 1: You're alive.

Fact 2: You know to read, and you're reading this.

Fact 3: Have you ever tried saying the letter "m" without touching your lips? It's impossible.

Fact 4: You just tried it!

Fact 6: You're smiling now.

Fact 7: Did you notice that I missed fact 5?

Fact 8: You just checked it.

Fact 9: You're smiling again.

Fact 10: You're happy now.

Joke #3

A compilation of funny jokes is never complete without a conversation between a student and a teacher. So, here's a classic one.

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he or she is stupid can stand up."

Everyone remained seated.

Teacher: "So, none of you think you're stupid? Come one, there has to be at least a few in this class. Be honest about yourselves children, and accept it."

Little John stood up.

Teacher: "John, so you think you're stupid?"

John: "I feel bad for you, so thought will give you some company to make you feel better."

Joke #4

A man went to a public restroom.

A person in the other stall: "Hi, how are you?"

The man was a little embarrassed as he didn't know who was talking. So, he said, "I'm good, thanks."

Person in the other stall: "What are up to these days?"

The man: "Nothing much. Just sitting here like you."

Person in the other stall: "Can I come over?"

The man (with a sarcasm): "Sure, if you'd like to see what I'm doing now."

Person in the other stall: "Listen, I'll call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who's answering all my questions."

Joke #5

A man dies and meets the Satan in hell. The Satan gives him three choices. He can see what's happening in three rooms, and decide where he wants to go. In the first room, he sees people standing in dirt that's up to their necks. The man decides to go to the next room. There, he sees people standing in dirt that's up to their noses. So, he decides to go to the third room. There he sees people standing in dirt that's only up to their knees. Also, they're drinking coffee and eating pastries. The man decides to choose the third room, and goes in. Just then, the Satan yells -"Coffee break is over! Everyone back on your heads!!"