Without a Clue

Dr Love,

I really need your help. There's a girl who is very close to me but we aren't actually an item. We always have sexual experiences doing everything except intercourse. But every time we do do it I feel she takes it for granted and doesn't really appreciate it, she's like my sister but we have that extra special something. I need to now how to get her more interested and not to play hard to get all the time because I know she enjoys it.

Also is it wrong to to do that with somebody like a sister and aren't actually an item, will it effect our friendship. Please advise me .


Without a clue


You asked several questions. You ask is it wrong to make love with someone that you have sisterly feelings for, and will it affect your friendship. First of all, it is normal to have all kinds of feelings for your lover. At times a lover may feel like a sister, mother, dutch uncle, father, whoever. Feelings are never wrong, so chill. As for the question, will sex change your friendship, the answer is yes. Having sex always alters the nature of a relationship. Feelings intensify and unfinished issues of childhood are more likely to emerge. Angry feelings will also be stronger. It sounds as though your girlfriend is also a bit unsure about having sex with you. You asked me how you could get her more interested in sex. ( She acts like she doesn't really appreciate sex and plays hard to get.) Is it possible that she also shares your guilty feelings about making love to someone who feels like a sibling (brother/sister)? The best thing to do is to sit down and talk this out. Tell her that you sense that she has mixed feelings about being sexual with you. Tell her that she acts like she doesn't really appreciate the sex and plays hard to get. Ask her what her behavior is trying to tell you. You could also ask point blank if she is sure that she wants to continue the sexual relationship. So, talk everything over and, you should both feel clearer on where you want to go with your relationship. Good luck.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love)