Deciding to divorce is never easy. Even for those who’ve known for some time that their marriage isn’t working or that they want to move on with their lives separately, taking the actual steps to end things can be a challenge. If you find yourself struggling with the idea of ending your marriage, and are having a difficult time deciding to divorce once and for all, here are 4 important things from Equitable Mediation Services of Bridgewater for you to think about before moving forward with your decision.
Be certain that you are truly ready for divorce.
Have you tried everything possible to make your marriage work? Are you comfortable with the idea of living your life separately from your spouse and both of you eventually moving on to other relationships in the future? Have you dealt with the emotions you’re inevitably feeling, such as anger, hurt, sadness and guilt? All of these questions must be answered honestly when you are deciding to divorce. If you’re unsure of the answers, you’re probably not ready.
Are the reasons behind your thoughts of divorce legitimate?
Many people mistakenly use the threat of divorce to simply scare their partner or manipulate them into changing in one way or another. When you think about divorce, are you sure it’s truly what you want and that you’re not just using it as a weapon to gain a leg up in your relationship? Deciding to divorce is one of the most critical decisions you’ll ever make, so make sure it’s coming from the right place before you take that big step.
Are you prepared to be single again?
Can you truly afford to live independently? Are you ready to share custody of your children and willing to co-parent effectively with your ex for their benefit? Will you be alright if the marital home is sold, or you have to change your lifestyle in some way, such as obtaining new or additional employment or relocating to a smaller dwelling? Will you be comfortable paying alimony or child support if it is so ordered? These are all realities of divorce, at least in the beginning, so make sure you’re considering all of the consequences ahead of time.
Have you considered how deciding to divorce will impact others in your life?
This is particularly important when there are children involved. This is, by no means, meant to imply that any couple should stay together simply because they share children. To the contrary, considering how an unhealthy marriage may be affecting the kids can actually help some people finally make the choice to move forward with the divorce. Take a step back and think about whether divorce will ultimately be in the best interest of everyone involved.
Deciding to divorce is life-changing, and therefore something that shouldn’t be taken lightly. If you’re on the fence and really struggling, even after you’ve considered these four factors, it may help to sit down with a divorce coach. These professionals are specially trained in how to deal with the emotional component of divorce, and can help you gain the clarity you need to ultimately make the best decision for your situation.
Sarah Mullington is an experienced professional writer for divorce mediation. For more information please visit Equitable Mediation divorce in New Jesery.